Do we need conflicts? Of course, we need – a psychotherapist Veronika Stepanova is sure. If you want to change relationships that do not suit, you will have to go to a collision of interests. It is only important to conduct a difficult conversation correctly so that it ends not with a quarrel, but with mutual understanding.
Many are afraid of conflicts. They agree to experience a sense of constant anxiety, just not to leave the comfort zone. If you want to get rid of this painful state, you will have to initiate a conflict and defend your interests. To change the situation, but to maintain relationships, it is necessary to comply with a number of rules.
Put the arguments on paper in advance
As a rule, conflicts pass emotionally. Having designated thoughts on paper, you will prepare yourself to keep questions directly related to a conflict situation. So you have more chances to say that you would like to change in a relationship, and not switch to mutual accusations.
Watch the interlocutor from the side
No matter how you prepare for a conversation, it is difficult to resist the emotional stream in which the second side is trying to involve you. However, as soon as the affect is turned on: aggression in response to the offensive of the offender or, on the contrary, fright – you lost. You forget about everything that you previously wrote and fall into an emotional stream that deprives you of the ability to think rationally. Try to take a symbolic step to the side, switching your attention from what they say to you, to the one who speaks. Take a closer look, how a person at that moment looks like his
eye color, the features of clothing. Whether he has hair dyed or natural? Is the shirt carefully ironed? Imagine him not your opponent, but a five -year -old baby who just became older. So you will return a composure that will help act in your interests.